ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Randomize
