How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize