I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
it glows. i had to have it.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
