Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
operation have a gay friend backfired
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
