You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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