the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
And then my night got REAL pukey
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
