i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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