I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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