i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
they're like a gay fantastic four
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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