All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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