sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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