PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
