the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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