his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
