did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
