So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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