I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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