Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize