I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
