did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
