I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
