I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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