you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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