It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
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