Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
