Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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