Please, let me fuck your mom
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
