"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
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