Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
