Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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