No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Let's get the cat blown out
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize