Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
