Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
