whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
