well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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