My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We are two peas in an std pod
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
This baby is an asshole
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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