i just had sex bonerless
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
