So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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