I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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