All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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