Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
