My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
