I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
