Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
