I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize