Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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