My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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