big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize