please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize