dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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