Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
