Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
