Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
