when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
