Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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