my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize