ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
