she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
