look no pants
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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