as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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