Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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