Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
