just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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