everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
