Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
