I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
try to milk me bitch
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
