Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
PANTIES FOUND
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
