since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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