We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
