yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
