Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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