so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
