I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
