I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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