You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
