We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
