Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
ok first of all what the fuck
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
