i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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