There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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