ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
